"If you tell me WHAT to do, I may do it for you. If you help me understand WHY I should do it, I'll want to do it and get it done, much better". The WHY makes all the difference. Why then, if WHY is so important, do leaders tend to forget its importance?

Every time I do training, coaching or any kind of work to improve a company's performance I see the same crucial principle at work: Unless individuals see and understand the WHY, no lasting improvement ever takes place. However, when WHY is clear, dramatic change can occur, sometimes even instantly and without resistance. WHY seems to be the redeeming element of effective training - the ultimate source of motivation.

A repeated flaw in leadership is forgetting to focus on individual perspective. When leaders try to make a significant difference, they mostly make their appeal to the masses. Thus, they forget that lasting change of habits and patterns is highly personal. We don't change groups of people as much as we change individual behavior. Help one person see the picture and you're well on your way to actually improve an entire organization.

I witness both types of leaders every day and it's fairly easy to spot the difference between them. When leaders are personal and stick to individual follow up they are able to move large corporations. When they don't, they fail and fail miserably. Stay personal. Work one-on-one as well as with the larger group. Inspire change in that one individual. When you win the heart of the one, it gradually opens the door to everyone else.

Make a Big Difference So if you want to make a big difference, at least three energies are indispensable to getting results. Each energy has a principle attached that guides our efforts in becoming a change agent among people:

(1) Ask WHY / WHAT

Action: Ignite Passion by going one-on-one => inner conviction.

Passion is the energy that makes a person unstoppable. It lights up when WHY and WHAT becomes clear. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Why am I doing what I do?" and "What am I about?"

(2) Ask WHO

Action: Make the Connection by executing plans together => shared conviction.

Connection is the energy that bonds us and causes us to succeed together. It brings a spark to every meaningful relationship when it becomes clear WHO matters most to us. Ask yourself the simple but tough questions: "Who is most important to me?" or "Who will give their all to the same mission as I have?".

(3) Ask HOW

Action: Stimulate Intuition by allowing individual freedom => discovered conviction.

Intuition is the energy that brings out the best in us. It shows the way in much the same way as our conscience. Individual answers will come to each of us as we deeply ask ourselves "How should I do this?" or "How can I best apply my talents and my style to solve these challenges?".

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Successful selling is about three breakthroughs that each unleash a specific type of energy. What are these energies and how do we unleash them?

When we consider the tree illustration from last week it should be easy to see that successful selling consists of three major breakthroughs (read: paradigm shifts). Every seed breaks out: from underground to fresh air from sprouting to reaching for the sky from growing up to fruit-bearing

We call them root route fruit, being respectively 1) the root structure and then 2) the route to 3) the fruit. Each one of these is most successful when going one-on-one. Root, route and fruit each deserve separate training and attention, but at this time, let's cut to the chase and extract the essence only - a summary so short it's almost impossible to explain with fewer words.

Root Our number one mission is strategic positioning, which figuratively speaking is "growing the root structure". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means answering the WHAT questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHAT we create context and experience inner conviction that unleashes the first energy we call Passion. Passion represents gasping for air and getting it (see bullet # 1 listed above) and maybe most of all clear and solid identity.

Route Mission leads to strategy. Our number one strategy is a network of trusting relationships, which figuratively speaking is "branching out like a tree". That sounds great, but what does it mean? It means seriously asking the WHO questions. When we breakthrough with answers to WHO we stir feelings and experience shared conviction that unleashes the second energy we call Connection. Connection represents reaching your highest potential (see bullet # 2 listed above). Potential is directly linked to your success with other people.

Fruit Strategy leads to network. Our number one way to network is consistently practicing technique and tactics, which figuratively speaking is "maturing and becoming fruitful". That sounds great, however, again what does it mean? It means working with the HOW questions. When we breakthrough with answers to HOW we identify technique and experience discovered conviction that unleashes the third energy we call Intuition. Intuition represents seeing the ultimate fruits of your effort (see bullet # 3 listed above), but more than that individual talent will surface.

A generic model for every perspective

Root, route and fruit is an allegory to explain 3E, which can be applied in every single setting. 3E is easily applied in both macro and micro perspectives, that is e.g. sales management (macro) or daily selling activities (micro). We can also apply 3E for internal or external activities. 3E also effectively enhances both organizational and personal improvement programs.

And here comes my personal highlight: After two long years we're finally ready to publish my next blogpost. Coming up next are the three scenarios that clarify the exceptional power of the methodical 3E approach to energy based selling. It will become clear what this really is all about. Yes, you may expect some of the best stuff you ever saw when it comes to sales theory!

Here's an overview of what we just covered in a simple matrix:

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One-on-one is the best way to do your selling. Nothing beats one-on-one! However, to be successful it's crucial to understand the depth and complexity of one-on-one interaction. Every sales cycle will include three levels of one-on-one dialog.

In reaching any kind of result we move through three levels or stages. The mental picture was originally introduced by Dr. Sephen Covey where he highlights natural law.

Sometimes we tend to think that social systems differ from natural systems, but really they don't. Just like growing a tree, moving from root structure to eventual fruit and harvest every human interaction has the same characteristics. Just like nature will not let you cheat, so it is with social systems. If you try to force the process, you'll fail.

Each level demands attention, and one-on-one is the basic most powerful and effective way to go about it: a) One-on-one to strategically position yourself, b) one-on-one to build a network of valuable relationships and c) one-on-one to skillfully apply tactics in reaching agreements.

We will continue dealing with this subject in the next post coming up.

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In striving for excellence every so often we tend to forget the basics. It has always been like that... We see this in all sales people, too. When there's a dip in performance, you can be sure, 80% of the time it's due to forgetting some of the basics. What lesson can we learn from this? If we're careful to be aware of and stick to the basics, we can save ourselves an awful lot of pain and failure.

So what are those basics? There are a few! In stead of naming a number of them, let's just consider one and one only; face-to-face one-on-one conversation. Ultimately, the most basic interaction and sales activity is one-on-one contact with another individual. You can make a lot of mistakes, but if you fail to go one-on-one mistakes will usually do unnecessary and greater damage.

I once had a CEO that intuitively understood the principle of one-on-one. It was a beauty to witness! Almost on a regular basis he would come for a quick visit in my office and discuss some of the difficult issues coming up in our next management meeting. By the time he left my office he would know perfectly my feelings and viewpoints. Knowing him well, he did the same thing with all the other managers, too. Then, when the time came to meet and discuss, he would have no difficulty reaching an agreement.

In short, he exercised a form of one-on-one sales, and it worked very well for him.

The speed of trust

Make sure to keep in mind how today's screaming need for efficiency may lure you into a dead end. E-mail, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twittering and other similar online tools - even the phone - may increase the frequency with which we are in touch, but quality conversations can never be replaced. The time and place to share intimate or private matters is face-to-face. One-one-one may not be the only way to build trust, but it certainly is the most effective way, even-though it may feel oldfashioned and slow.

While recommending Stephen M. R. Covey's book The Speed of Trust, David Neeleman, Founder and CEO of JetBlue Airways says it so well: "With high trust, success comes faster, better and at lower cost."

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Without moderation, I believe Marit Breivik may well be among the best coaches in the world. Her management has brought about outstanding results. She's widely known for creating a phenomenal team spirit. What are some of the distinctive principles behind her success?

		From left: Marit Breivik and Vidar Top at Grenland EXPO						I was asked to speak at the same conference as Marit Breivik last week and had the opportunity to ask her a few questions about her tremendous success. The similarities between sports and business became curiously apparent. As Breivik is the lady behind the most amazing team spirit I've ever seen, it should be worthwhile to spend a few minutes adhering to her advice.

One of the key factors she points out is the importance of supporting each player individually, making sure to highlight key strengths that fit into the whole. Teamwork is not only about bringing each player to flawless expertise, neither is it possible to create synergy by itself --unless-- each player and the entire team knows WHY and WHAT they are about.

Humble and teachable

I also appreciate Marit Breivik's humble approach. During her career she has stressed the importance of taking counsel from others and making sure the entire culture is one of constant learning. There are few world champions, but as a team we can create complimentary strengths that collectively come close to world class performance and passion. Being the best takes daily effort, and staying ahead of the game demands ongoing and intense attention.

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So you're a manager and some team members are not performing equal to their potential. What do you do?

I will tell you right up front. The root cause of poor performance is the unanswered WHY. Every individual who is not running at "max speed" is somehow struggling with the WHY. We see this everywhere! Here's an example to illustrate:

In one of the world's largest and most successful companies I was recently asked to turn around a sales team of 26 Account Managers from poor to peak performance. One young man clearly stood out. In spite of his being inexperienced and new on the job his performance was out of the ordinary.

During our coaching session I asked him: "Why are you here"? It was as I expected. Unlike any of the others, as soon as we tapped into WHY, he could hardly stop talking. He knew! He told me about his desire to learn how to sell, about his failures in the past, about his feeling frustrated about his life and about how he wanted to make a serious change. Most of all, he wanted to be reunited with his family.

The sum of all these WHY's gave him the reasons he needed to perform on the job. They drove him to performance. Nobody had to push him. He was pulling himself.

When we know WHY our entire being shifts from "content" to what I like to call "desperate dissatisfaction". Reflecting on WHY helps us realise a number of important dissatisfactions, all of which can be grouped into three areas:

1. Distrusted - WHAT
2. Disabled - WHO
3. Discouraged - HOW

Next time I'll comment on each of the above dissatisfactions.

Yes, motivation may be a challenging task, but no more do you need to wonder about where to start: Go one-on-one and begin the process of exploring WHY.

Are you a successful person? That might be a difficult question to answer, and our response may vary depending on what we have in mind, too. At times we all like to think that we're successful. However, when we're at a low point, and everybody hits rock bottom sometimes, we may feel like failures. What is the true measure of success?

Success can be measured in many ways. Yet, if we are to go to the heart of the matter, it's really not that difficult. Success lies in people. Other people. Of course we can be successful as an individual, but essential to any success is our relationship with and dependence - or rather interdependence - on other people.

If other people is the deciding factor of success, then sooner or later we need to understand two most basic facts: 1) Each person is unique. Success is built one person at a time. 2) People require constant effort. We may have a great relationship with someone, but unless we respect and nurture the connection, the relationship will quickly deteriorate and become counterproductive and hurtful.

When I do training I always find one of the most rewarding moments when people begin to realize the power of one-on-one. In fact, I try not to highlight our company name too forcefully when in a training seesion. Why? Because, at a certain point during interaction, someone inevitably says something like this: "So what you're saying is - influencing one person at a time is much more effective than trying to convince two or more at the same time?" That's when it's fun to remind them of our company name.

The following quote is so fitting in this respect:

It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses. (Dag Hammarskjold, Past Secretary-General of the UN - quoted by Stephen R. Covey.)

When we concentrate on individuals we have a real chance of practicing long lasting influence. It is when true influence reaches one person at a time that the masses are set in motion through the ripple effect of "the one-on-one principle". One-on-one is the true measure of success!

Principles are often best shared by means of a story or analogy. Here's one that offers depth to the value of individuals and how the fruits of networking are but a fringe benefit of what really matters: Caring for others!

Once when a Lion was asleep a little Mouse began running up and down upon him; this soon wakened the Lion, who placed his huge paw upon him, and opened his big jaws to swallow him. "Pardon, O King," cried the little Mouse: "forgive me this time, I shall never forget it: who knows but what I may be able to do you a turn some of these days?" The Lion was so tickled at the idea of the Mouse being able to help him, that he lifted up his paw and let him go.

Some time after the Lion was caught in a trap. Tied down by strong ropes the Mouse heard the Lion's roar. Coming to its rescue and seeing the sad plight in which the Lion was, immediately it went up to him and soon gnawed away the ropes that bound the King of the Beasts.

When freed, the Mouse said to the Lion: "You ridiculed the idea of my ever being able to help you, expecting to receive from me no repayment for your favor; now you know that it is possible for even a Mouse to con benefits on a Lion."

From a sales perspective, Aesop provides us with a great number of lessons. Some of these may be:

• Never abuse power when you are in a position to do so. Only realize your position allows you to offer mercy you yourself need more than whoever you are offering it to.

• Never be intimidated by the power or authority of others. Only realize that some time in the future roles may be reversed.

• People have value regardless of who they are. Positions have no impact on success in the long run,

• ...but you never know who's who around the next bend.

• Ignore every indication of relative importance among humans,

• ...but maintain a clear view of how the world around you perceives rank and importance.

It is when you rise above, that you begin to grow your ability to influence influential people, becoming one yourself.

I found a charming multimedia presentation on the Lion and the mouse fable. Maybe you'll enjoy it as much as I did?

In June this year we began organizing what is now known as a worldwide group of Elite Sales Professionals. Today we are more than 1.000 high performers and a powerful group of competent people. LinkedIn serves as the initial connection and meeting point, but it will soon be complimented by smart online solutions. These solutions will allow members three basic privileges:

• An evolutionary collaboration model for tipping-point results
• A network of quality people to visualize business opportunities
• An online framework to innovate new money generation activities

The current group definition reads: "High performing sales people with experience in strategy and positioning, network and relations as well as pure skills and customer centric concepts such as innovation and product development. Trustworthy and competent professionals able to create value balancing people with business and money."

Once we've reached critical mass and the beta versions of the online solutions are in place, the Expert Panel behind this group will introduce a second round of qualification. This is when we'll experience the long planned "explosion" of the quality network we're only witnessing the small beginnings of today. Let me assure you; the Expert Panel is not without ambition with this worldwide undertaking! (And yes, the Expert Panel is yet to be formally introduced.)

The past two weeks Lillian and I brought our five kids far away to a warmer climate (...we live in Norway ;-). I left my computer at home and pretty much never touched my PDA or any other technical device. I guess that's good therapy for someone like me.

Yes, we had a wonderful time, but what I wanted to share is how regardless of holidays, sunny weather, money spent, or even the illusion of "more time at hand", none of these can add to what we already and always have with us; daily one-on-one opportunities with the most important people in our lives.

In breaking with regular routines, there was at least one thing we didn't change during our holidays, and that was regular one-on-one time with each of our children. I always spend Sunday evening visiting with them, one at a time. We share anything we feel like talking about. Most of all, it's a time when they know dad will eventually look them in the eye and simply tell them how wonderful and unique they are. Nothing in the world beats that moment of eye contact, calling them by name and sincerely from the heart express: "I love you".

"One-on-one is where the gold is found..."

Equally amazing are the hours immediately following such a prized experience. I can always sense a leap in self esteem and self worth. Conflict, if there were any, is gone. The atmosphere is one of increased harmony. There is a release of unparalleled energy. In my opinion, one-on-one is the single most powerful investment I know of. That's why, even though I have these opportunities every minute of the day, I actually schedule time to create this arena at least once a week. It's just to make sure that it happens regularly. I wouldn't miss it for all the world.

Applicable in all settings

Always remember, relationships are one-on-one. That's how they really grow and sprout. When one individual interacts with another - and it doesn't have to be in a perceived "private" setting per se - this is where the gold is found. This is where we can create mutual value. This is where energy starts and where it has the best beginning.

Keep in mind this principle next time you plan your week and days: How are you going to create effective one-on-one incidents with colleagues, customers and clients, as well as anyone you know you need to build a quality relationship with? If you do, you'll also be more alert and attentive whenever you have unplanned opportunities to nurture such a moment.