Struggling with a headwind?

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Struggling with a headwind?

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February 2012

Wind is external and follows its own direction, right..?!

Interesting Vidar :)

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Wind is external and follows its own direction, right..?!

Interesting Vidar :)

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"An increase in influence is the one ingredient that influences life most...

...everyone wants more influence for varying reasons. They just don't know it yet.

(E. Vidar Top)

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Someone once said to me: "There is no such thing as the perfect sale." I disagree. I very much disagree!

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Someone once said to me: "There is no such thing as the perfect sale." I disagree. I very much disagree!

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25/12/2007 4:00 pm

Vidar Top

Tags: 3E , Communication , Connection , Dialog , Energation , Energy , SBP=SPP

I'm hardly able to express how great it feels to "have mother nature on our side" when selling (see blog post 21st of Dec). It's possible, just like a sailboat, to maneuver by such means that the wind is always blowing our way. Want to know how?

As I've been in sales for a long time, I believe I've gone through most of the pains with regards to rejection. I've been selling on the door, on the street, on the phone, at stands, in meetings and in public seminars and keynote sessions for almost 20 years now. Whichever way you view it, of course rejection hurts!

It just so happens I've been in the lucky position to choose to be in sales. I could've gone in a completely different direction, but I've chosen sales assignments simply because I feel a strong desire to master "the people game" and most of all because I have a higher purpose with what I do. Can you think of anything more complex and challenging than to communicate effectively with people who have every reason not to listen? (Maybe you can, but I particularly enjoy this challenge.)

When we talk about rejection, most advisers in sales will talk about perseverance, patience, hard work, resolving concerns, self esteem and/or goal setting. Sometimes they'll point out that it's not personal and rejection should be received in the same impersonal way. That's probably all good, but again, even though these are important - in sum - what matters is energy. Let me explain:

Every form of rejection is by nature negative energy. Negative energy simply doesn't feel good. It gives us a sense of discomfort and tries to penetrate and produce emotions of pain or being unwanted. What we need to understand is; there's always something in combination with perception that triggers that negative energy. The tricky thing is - most of us don't have the eyes to see what or how, and when we don't our natural response is to block out this undesired response. Ironically, this only increases negative energy AND keeps us from discovering what caused it, or rather, what the source behind it was.

Together with my peers and research associates I've discovered there's a better way.

There are several reasons for rejection - and I don't claim to know them all - but here's the biggest one we've found so far: When someone decides they disagree with or dislike what we propose, negative energy is generated from either one, two or three energy channels - the Operational dialog, the Opinional dialog and/or the Optimal dialog. Each of these dialogs are at least 90% unspoken energy, i.e. words are but "30% of 300% communication". When each of these dialogs are done well AND in sync, our statistics indicate a success rate that equals 5 out of 6, i.e. 83%. For example, when doing so-called "cold calls" you will succeed pretty much "every time". Please allow me to say it again: That feels very good!

The fact that it feels good shows you it's personal. It's evidence that it is. Don't let anyone tell you business is not personal. If you're really in sales you know what rejection feels like. If you're really in sales the dislike for rejection is in your system. If you're really in sales you'll want to know how this is possible!

Vidar Top

Wednesday 02 January 2008 10:08:36 pm

Yes, that's exactly it, Thomas. The wind has, like everyone around us, its own will and "mind". I don't know much about wind, neither do I control it, but even I know there are smart ways to make it work in our behalf, regardless of the direction in which it is blowing: Windmills are able to harness its power, a boat equipped with a sail literally travels around the globe and a kite maintains its altitude simply by the string that upholds it.

Everything related to influence and persuassion works the same way. We cannot control others, but we CAN adapt to circumstances and external conditions. As long as we know in which direction these interactive forces are blowing, we can make effective use of them in stead of struggling to oppose them. It'll only "blow us away" if we do, anyway ;-)

Since you refered to my blog post where I made a comparison to martial arts, let me follow through by sharing another simple example, just to illustrate:

I'm no expert, but some of the principles are clear to me: 1) When someone attacks us, one significant priority is to have balance. 2) Then, when the enemy strikes, a master can turn the power and energy of each blow to his or her favour, and can also retaliate if needs be. 3) Last, but not least, once "disarmed" the opponent is invited to make peace. In that case, both are winners. (Interesting link could be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qi)

So it is with the invicible powers at play between us. There are at least three channels that potentially can generate negative energy, or "rejection" as we know it in selling, if we don't apply them to our advantage. In other words, each one can either work for us or against us - refering to the above analogy:

1) The Operational dialog can be compared to how we find balance
2) The Opinional dialog is how we leverage strength through others
3) The Optimal dialog represents how we reach out to others and "make peace"

I guess that leaves us with major questions about what each dialog is. Did you see this webcast: http://oneonone.no/intro?

Thomas Hansen

Tuesday 01 January 2008 9:53:13 pm

I liked especially the Nanbudo/Sun example :)))
Though I guess the "trillion dollar question" here would be how to make the "wind change direction"... ;)
So if you have an opinion that is of outmost importance to you, how do you guarantee that you don't feel resistance when submitting your opinion... ;)
I followed all the links from this blog and I mst say I am really impressed with some of the stuff you're doing her my brilliant colleague :)

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It reminds me of a conversation I had a long time ago. One of my CEO's said to me: "If the customer happily signed the contract then you've done your job. You exceeded your budget - you should be happy." But I wasn't.

On these pages I'll make it my mission to tell you what kind of sale does make me happy. I also invite you to help me get that insight - how selling should be - by telling me what you think.

Thank you for helping out ;-)

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